Monday, September 26, 2011

A Goal, A Project

Since I have SO much free time (...) I decided to embark on a project.  It's called 1000 gifts.  I follow a few people on twitter and blogger that have done it so I looked in to it.  Basically, instead of complaining and looking for all of the "wrong" things, I am going to spend time in the upcoming months/however long it takes, to name 1000 things that I am grateful for.  I will be blogging about the process, the gifts, and how it feels.  I will also be tweeting some of the gifts :) (@jackiepolen).  Join me in this LARGE but EXCITING undertaking.


And because I like having lots of things to do, I am hoping to encourage others to do the same through my experience with this.  If you're curious about the process, or interested in how it's going...ASK :)

...#1.. sleeping babies, cool breeze and time to work on my project...

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Lions, Tigers, Wolverines and Buckeyes

Despite my lack of athletic ability, I really like sports.  Even though no one would ever want me to play on their football, baseball or any other team, I have a decent knowledge base of sport info.  I can explain the game of football to someone with relative ease, and even though I don't really understand baseball...I can act like I do with effortless grace. 

This weekend, amongst my hours of homework and babysitting, I have watched a tigers game, lions game, michigan game and a buckeye game.  And it's all been great.  The wolverines won, the buckeyes won and the tigers are currently winning and the lions have come back from 0-20 to make the score 23-20 with only a few minutes left in the 4th quarter.  And even though I think pro sports are weird because it is a bunch of old men running around, it is so exciting to see the Lions actually as a successful sports team! They're 2 and 0 and are hopefully going to make it 3 and 0 within a few minutes.  Of course if not, that'll be all sorts of typical and sad. 

Why am I writing about sports?  Because it is an amazing way to connect with people.  Whether I'm connecting with my baby brother, the kids I babysit, or friends...it is always fun and always a good excuse to have a beer. 

Now I need to get back to homework, work, and watching the Lions.  Did I mention I love multitasking?

Correction

I actually have THREE readings left.  I was forgetting about a class.

Oh, and I have one paper at least written!! (I wrote it in 20 minutes, though, so it needs edited).

Now on to the monster paper...5 pages single spaced.  And it is more detailed and messy than you can imagine.  And I haven't even written it yet...that's how messy it really is.


p.s.  I am currently working in my bed.  I have notebooks, folders and papers all around me, I'm working on my computer and I have my iPad next to me with my readings on it that I need to reference in my papers.  I'm buried in school.  Literally and figuratively. 

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Wanted: Motivation

I am currently believing this with all of my heart.  I am struggling, hard core, to stay focused.  When my to-do list is sooo long it definitely feels overwhelming. 

I have, however, made quite a dent in it thus far today.  I am done with all but 1 of my readings (I had 16 total readings by the way.  Anywhere from 30-100 pages long each).  What I have not done, however, are the most important things on the to-do list: one project thing that at least has been started, and one paper that I haven't even thought about.

Football is on, I'm exhausted, I am doing laundry, and my puppy wants to play. Plus I'm working at 6 so I just keep watching the clock half hoping it slows down so I can get work done and half hoping it speeds up so I can leave and be apart from my stupid agenda (I'm sorry agenda. You know I love you, but you're a huge stressor as of late). 

Any tips for motivation? Anything that helps you focus through the pain of doing homework for hours on end on the weekend? HELP A GIRL OUT.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Social Justice

Justice is a "hot" topic right now...it's in TV shows (grey's last season with Alex's project), on billboards and most definitely in churches and classrooms.  Part of the National Association of Social Workers Code of Ethics is to work towards social justice in everything we do, and this is something I learn about, both practically and big picture, on a daily basis.

I am working on a couple of big papers right now.  One of them is about me (a genogram basically) and one is about connecting course (welfare) work to one of the "competencies" of the NASW.  Social justice is the easiest to connect to any of my courses because SO many things are unjust...

Social Security isn't available until your 65 (or 62) but African Americans have a much shorter life span on average; therefore they receive less of what they paid earlier in life than say Asian women who have the longest life span.

Higher education (public at least) was intended to allow anyone to become as educated as they want; the poor were able to go to school just as the wealthy were.  In current times, however, both the federal and state budgets have drastically affected the funding on ALL education programs, rising tuition costs and cutting the amount of available financial aid funds.  Now, higher education is only for those with the means to get there, which often excludes the less wealthy and disproportionately excludes select ethnic groups.

 Our tax codes are completely messed up, if you didn't already know that.  We give tax cuts to billionaires and some cuts to those making less than 20K/year, but almost no cuts to the average earning American ($20-60K).  This makes it incredibly difficult for many Americans in so many ways.  Instead of taxing people proportionate to income, we tax (Read:PENALIZE) people for working a honest job making 30K a year instead of helping those families make ends meet.  And considering the last point about education, how are these families supposed to get an education leading to a better job?  And who is to say that education would even mater right now?

Basically the world is a mess. Politics are messy.  And our country (and largely the world) is in such a devastating economic situation that we have no attention being given to these justice issues outside of grassroots movements.

How will you help?

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

And it's Over

Birthdays are weird.  Whereas Christmas is an entire season, Birthdays last but a mere hours, are recognized by so few, and aren't nearly as exciting.  I look forward to them, for the novelty the excitement and the excuse to celebrate, yet I rarely have a plan for how I want to celebrate.

I ended up having a decent experience with my HR appointment, minus the three times I had to pee in a cup...and let me tell you people, I HATE peeing in cups.  I will NEVER understand why they always say "we only need a little" because it's not like I can squeeze out some drops. UGH.

I spent the rest of my day napping, going to dinner, and sleeping. Oh, I also did some more HW.  My parents were incredibly gracious and giving and bought me and iPad for my birthday which has been SO much fun.  I am still learning its limitations/abilities and am having SO much fun playing words with friends.  My back is also thankful to be carrying a much lighter bag now that I don't need to bring my computer to campus!

All in all, turning 22 was definitely uneventful, but pleasant!  I had a bit of a heart attack, though, when I realized that 23 is next...I have always felt like that is the last irresponsible year we get!  (Where did I get that fyi?)

Friday, September 16, 2011

A couple hours in...

So it's my birthday! I feel it best to reflect on the day thus far even though it is only 8:40 because I want to be grateful for the little things...all day long!

When I woke up this morning, I had enough time to take a shower.  But when I saw that my hair still little pretty damn good if I say so myself (I have low standards) I got an extra 33 minutes to stay in my warm comfy heaven (aka my bed).  #grateful

When I picked up the children today, Anthony remembered that it was my birthday and was so excited about it! #grateful

My madre and baby brother were friendly, but not too friendly like annoying morning people in the way they wished me a happy birthday.  My madre did take pictures of me, but that's understandable as I'm actually dressed up because I have an HR meeting.  Rare to find me not in sweats.  #grateful

I have currently encountered the following bday coupons: $15 off at The Limited, two $10 off at Victoria's Secret, a free lunch at Panera, a free dinner at Oak Pointe, and a birthday surprise at Panera as well..whatever that is :) #grateful

I love facebook.  And mostly, facebook birthdays.  It's so cute to receive birthday wishes from all over the world.  I truly love it.  Birthday texts are fabulous too.  #grateful

As I sit at Panera currently, working on both homework and Internship assignments, I am eager to find out my surprise (hoping it's gluten free) and I'm excited about finding out what the rest of the day brings. 

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Birthday

Hello Blogosphere! How crazy is it that it is already Wednesday evening?  I am exhausted, excited about school, and dreading the fact that tomorrow begins my four days of homework (Have I mentioned that EVERY day is planned perfectly to fit field, classes, work, work, and homework) (ps, sleeping doesn't always fit in).  It feels like it has been forever since it was the weekend, yet at the same time yesterday and today are such a blur!

So this friday marks the end of my 22nd year of life.  Meaning, I turn 22!  (weird, huh?)  It's not a super special birthday.  Seems that after 21 they aren't too exciting.  I have NO plans for my birthday.  And let me just say that I am not someone who has a good track record with birthdays; things like swine flu and car accidents have interfered with past birthdays.  And because my birthday is right after school starts, it has meant in the past that it's kind of awkward to ask brand new friends to hang out to celebrate my birthday...when I have yet to hang out with these people outside of the school setting.  AND a lot of my friends have either moved away or are in weird transition phases, so I simply did not plan anything.  And though I feel lots of things in response to that, I know that it doesn't mean I am any less loved or appreciated by my friends :)

It's just a weird birthday.  I'm not living on campus so going to the bars is more difficult unless there was some where to sleep afterwards, and that isn't always convenient for anyone.  I had thought about emailing people to go to the hot tub gardens, but feel like lots of people are trying not to spend money at the time (including me).  So instead, it will just be a quiet day of HR meetings, homework, and maybe a dinner out with the padres. 

I'll be sure to report back about how the day actually goes... I'm a bit worried.  I also think of great things to do well in advance, things that would make the day/wknd super exciting and elaborate but generally feel uncomfortable planning my birthday activities (please spend your money to celebrate me).  But it can't be worse than swine flu of 09 birthday. 

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Remembering the Moment

September 11, 2001 is a day that everyone old enough to remember, does remember.  I remember the raw emotion, watching the 2nd plane hit, watching the towers fall, and watching the Pentagon and field in Pennsylvania go up in flames and smoke.  I remember the people around me, the tears, the phone calls and the intense fear that we all began to feel as more and more things unfolded on the screen in front of us.

I was living in Buenos Aires, Argentina at the time.  In some ways that made us feel safer...the attacks are in America, we are not in America.  However, the 9/11 attacks spurred other terror cells to make threats against American buildings and people in many foreign countries, including Argentina.  Our school and embassy were threatened.  Our schools became guarded not just by security guards, but by guards with machine guns (loaded).  We had to sign in and out of school grounds.  And personal safety was always on the minds of our parents.

Where were you?  Are you still able to engage with the emotion that the day evokes for so many?  I was able to spend some time today watching the memorial services that took place in DC, New York and Pennsylvania.  I was moved to tears several times.  And though I didn't know, personally, any of the 2,977 victims that died that day, I am emotionally distraught over the pure evil that sparked such an attack, moved by the outpouring of love and support in this country, moved by the tears of family members, and moved by this thing called life that we so often take for granted.

As this 10th anniversary comes to an end I am thankful for my life.  I think of so many things that could have claimed my life thus far, and of how truly blessed I am.  Just last year on September 11th I was in a rollover car accident.  Not only did my friend and I walk away with our lives, but with no broken bones or chronic injuries.  Each life is precious, each life is important, and each life has a purpose.  This weekend has truly reminded me of this. 

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Labor Day Weekend

Even though all of us Polen's have spent ample amounts of time at the houseboat, there have only been a few where all five of us were there at the same time.  Labor Day provided an end of summer, all-out weekend for the five of us to tie out with our houseboating friends! It was tons of fun!








I was still getting over Pneumonia, but my siblings forced me to tube.  So I did.  Zach fell off several times, while Brittany and I showed our master tubing skills off.

They also made me wake board first.  We all are decent at wake boarding after years of not understanding the sport.  It's fun, but it is oh so easy to face plant.  Brittany experienced some thigh pain the next day after using her right leg to keep herself from face planting.  It was, um, interesting to watch!  Zach crashed several times because he was distracted/cocky and I ended my turn by crashing on a wave that was just a little bit big....




 Spoiled pups.  They love the lake.  They go, expecting to see their best friends too.  When we bring Scarlet, and Brittany and Einstein aren't there...she is not a happy camper.  Same with Einstein. 

They both have life jackets now and can swim well! They've both ridden on the jet ski now, too!!  Scarlet loves it...Einstein not so much. 



Thursday, September 8, 2011

Orientation

I feel like I've been away from the blogging world for awhile, though it really hasn't been all that long.  Since my last post, I've been to Kentucky, have started graduate school and have been adjusting to life as a student, employee, and intern. 

Last week, at orientation, the faculty, dean and administrators stressed "self care".  Self care is basically the things you do for YOU; whether it be exercise, journaling, blogging, friend time, sleep, etc.  In a field like social work it is really easy to get burned out, overwhelmed and completely exhausted.  I'm working, currently, on figuring out what I need.  What is it that I require to function my best? 

Orientation as a whole was quite drawn out and not all that informative.  For those familiarized with the university (things like ctools, wolverine access, etc) it wasn't incredibly valuable.  That being said, I loved meeting people and hearing the interests of all of the faculty.  It was also helpful to meet people in my specific concentration area.  It's always nice to see familiar faces in the hallways and in the classrooms. 

I  will post more about grad school, courses, and my developing self care activities later, but for now, know that my life is in complete transition, and I am walking gingerly each day!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Bold

Boldness is admirable.  Whether your bold by telling someone about your life, your faith; by approaching a person you want to get to know; or if you're bold by making risky decisions, it can be a freeing and learning experience. 

I like to think that I'm passionate.  Well, I know that I'm passionate.  If you tell me about a social issue, or something of social injustice, I can jump on board with a petition, plan or political movement to work closer toward equality quite easily.  But even though I am passionate, I am not always bold.  Though I detest inequality, I listen to derogatory comments, watch racism and witness classism all of the time; and rarely do I respond vocally.  I want to learn how to be bold, learn how to speak up for how I feel and learn how to go after exactly what I want.

I hate the movie Knight and Day, really I do.  But the beginning of the movie reminds me of the boldness I do NOT have.  Cameron Diaz is on a flight with Tom Cruise, and finds him cute and flirty.  She preps herself in the bathroom, comes out and kisses him passionately.  Of course she later finds out that he's crazy and the movie turns weird, but for the moment that she takes what she wants, I envy her bold passion. 

Sometimes I feel like women don't have the freedom to just go up to a guy and express what she wants.  A woman who just wants a fling is written off by many men, yet so is a woman who wants to get married?  Why can't we all just be bold, honest, and enjoy each stage as it comes?