Something might be wrong...

What are your favorite things to do?  Play video games where you kill people; watch TV shows where women are hurt and poorly represented; make fun and laugh at the expense of others?  This is just a small sampling of the many activities that people take place in...activities that I truly believe are hurting us in SO many ways. 

I have access to guns...they aren't mine, I do NOT touch them and I dislike them, but I do have access.  I also have access to games where I am able to kill people to let off steam when I'm angry.  How do we draw the line?  Anger makes it difficult for us to see clearly...why would we want to make this line more difficult for youth to judge by giving them insanely violent games?  What's worse is that even though they have a "rating" system, it isn't as monitored as say a movie is...meaning that some games that are violent and meant (some reason) for adults can be ranked Teen...guaranteeing higher sales.

What about TV?  I LOVE TV.  Seriously, I do.  I love being able to watch cute/good looking people live out really interesting lives.  Though this is true, I think TV messes with my mind a lot more than I would like for it to.  When I do homework at my house in AA I put on marathons of NCIS or SVU...both of which are kinda creepy and deal with intense crimes and people who have been emotionally affected by the crimes committed.  The problem is that we, including myself, become numb to these things.  So numb that when the crimes actually happen and are on the local news we don't care.  Or so numb that my little brother can say that he dislikes watching the news in Kentucky because all they talk about are sad things...rapes, murders, child abuse...while joking. 

When I think about how numb I am personally to the crimes, pain, and injustices that exist around me I feel guilty, kinda nauseous, and sad.  I have a very big "I need to save you" issue...not because I think living my way is best, but because I really hate thinking that other people understand pain, too. 

Houseboat Smell

Ever noticed how every place or person has a distinct smell?  My family is great at smelling.  Literally, we have some great noses in the bunch.  I, personally, have a pretty high functioning nose, if I do say so my self.  Every time I change environments I feel like my nose has to adjust to the shift in smells, and it is incredibly frustrating (though it really shouldn't be).

For the holiday, we went to Chillicothe, Ohio; what my mom and dad call home and where my siblings and I rarely know half the people we're supposedly related to.  I do enjoy visiting with family, and this time was no different.  Chillicothe, however, is full of smells.  The Mead (think mead paper, binders, notebooks, etc) has a plant in the town that produces so much pollution you can't see through the air...and it smells like actual poop, but more gross.  That's just one smell.

 My mom's parents have a farm in the country: horse smells, dust smells, nan-cooking smells, dog smells, wood fire smells, saddle smells... I could go on forever.  This house was so fun to go to as a kid because there are so many things to do there...but man oh man is it a playground for your olfactory system. 

I have a blanket that reminds me of my Aunt's perfume, my coat smells like farm and I'm grateful to be out of a car that smelled of stinky boy (among other things!).   We had a great time in Ohio, even though we weren't able to see everyone.  Such a great family :)


I am SO grateful to have been welcomed by houseboat smell this cool December evening!! 

Fourteenth Birthday

My baby brother turned fourteen today.  It's so weird to think of him as a teenager, and not as a child.  As he gets older I realize that I actually am getting older as well; people often expect me to be in a relationship, expect me to be moved out of my parent's home and expect me to be more mature.  I prefer to stay younger for a bit longer.

I love being close to my family, and I love the memories that I build with them each Christmas.  At dinner this evening we discussed some infamous vacations we've taken.  Of course Lake Cumberland is on the list, but our trips to Saas Fe, Switzerland, Nuremberg, Germany and Disney World were irreplaceable.  As I enjoy being young and depending on my parents for a lot of my support, I do in fact look forward to the day when I can include my future family and cute children on my awesome families vacations.  So few can vacation like the Polen's vacation!

This years tree!

Saas Fe!

Pure beauty...God is real.

Merry Christmas, everyone!!! 

All Grown Up

Yesterday was a day full of realizing that I was an adult.

I went to a Youth Group reunion yesterday morning and saw people I haven't seen in three or four years. This meant that "kids" who were freshmen my senior year are SENIORS! Little ones were in college and there were actual babies everywhere (which I loved). Oh my...it was such a shocking experience.

Afterward, Yeha and I continued our 12 hour day together and went to Amanda's (remember her?) graduation. The ceremony was 2 hours long and honestly...was incredibly disorganized, had such bizarre, obnoxious speakers, and the graduates didn't hear their names called OR get their diploma! Such a weird ceremony.

THEN Yeha and I drove forever to gather things from our AA house, went to my Brighton house and then went on to Amanda's graduation dinner...which was incredible :) So many family members, great food, awesome relationships and so many welcoming arms! I loved it :) It was great! Then we drove 40 miles home, and got home at 11. It was a great day :)

Shopping Hell

They say Black Friday is the #1 day for shopping...I want proof! Today, my sister Brittany and I went shopping at my all time favorite mall, Twelve Oaks. I've been to malls in several countries..but Twelve Oaks has every store I would ever want to shop at...which is awesome!

The problem? Everyone and their mom was there today. From itty bitty babies in massive strollers to the elderly walking oh so slow...everyone was out shopping. I have to say though, the sales were incredible! And I was able to find presents for my dad, mom, and brother!! I only need a couple more things for my sister and I'll be ready for the holidays :)

Lucky for me, the trip was full of hysterical happenings. My sister is hilarious; we laughed, complained, whined and counted down until we were finally home. It was great, especially considering she is now 4 hours away. It was fun, and though it was a crazy marathon of shopping, full of dodging people and allergic reactions, I wouldn't trade it for any other kind of shopping!

Welcome to my life, world!

I've always wanted a blog. I've started them, and have later deleted them. Mostly because who would want to read my thoughts? Ugh..no one!! I've realized, however, that this is more for me and my enjoyment than anything else.

I invite you, invite you to start on this journey of life with me. I will be posting updates about where I am headed in life, will post fun pictures, and will keep you up to date on where I am at in life.

As I write this, I am taking a break from studying for my exam that is happening in about 2 hours. I'm ready for it, I am ready to complete this semester, this chunk of my life, and to move into the next chapter.

Before I leave, I want to leave you with a song that is helping me realize that even if I don't ace this exam, even if I fail at life, I will always be loved, loved by an amazing creator.