I have so many questions. I need your help to become a momma, a momma as good as you. I need your help to keep me sane, calm, and assured. I crave your reassurance, your approval, your confidence in me.
Did you worry when I was in your belly? Did every hour come with a fleeting fear of my well being? Did you feel sick for weeks while I depended on you to nourish me? Did you throw up so hard you burst a vessel in your eye? Because I did... And it scared me. You would have known how to reassure me.
When did you feel me kick inside you? Did you worry as you awaited those initial confirmations of my "okayness"? Did you smile and become elated at the thought of me doing gymnastics? Did you pee 100 times a day, and at least 82 times a night?
How did you convince my dad to be empathetic? To meet your needs as you fought to keep me safe, not to mention my sister alive and your grades up. How did you handle those moments when the world/your job/your husband needs more from you than you could physically give? How did you navigate a marriage in the midst of a monumental life change? I'm doing my best, I promise, but I need your guidance...
Did your changing body make you fearful, or empowered? I know your boobs must have become ginormous because mine are terrifying. Was it easy for you to witness the lines and cellulite appear in trade for the life you were creating? How did you accept the change in your womanhood?
What did you dream? What were your nightmares? What were YOUR questions? What were your fears, momma, because I have too many to count...
