Pink does NOT equal Breast Cancer Treatment/Prevention

The month of October is my favorite time of year, I think.  I also REALLY love the dead of summer where it is blazing hot, everything is in bloom, and boating is the most frequent thing on my mind.

Anyways, October.  I love the leaves, the crunchy ones and the bright ones on the trees.  I love the beginning of boot and jacket season.  I love cozy fires, warm houses, and hot tea.  You know what I don't love? The stupid PINK Breast Cancer campaign. 

1. Not because I don't support breast cancer research.
2. Not because I hate Pink.

I hate it for several reasons

1. Why do we assume Pink=women=breast cancer.  Men get breast cancer too.  And lots of women hate feeling labeled by pink.
2. It feels SO inappropriate to me how many "save the tatas" "barbells for boobs" "booze for boobs" etc events there are.  We are not pouring billions into research for BOOBS.  We are researching for LIVES.  The women, the men afflicted by the disease.  Do we as a nation forget that most people with breast cancer LOSE their breasts?  How insensitive is it to be behind propaganda that FOCUSES on the boobs when a large percentage of these patients have LOST theirs. 
3.  The money. Oh the money.  Can we please consider, for a moment, that Donatos is donating only 25 cents each pizza from their pink-ness campaign.  I mean really?  Or that Nike only donates "a percentage" well what the fuck percentage friends?  Why are we willing to pay more for a pink product when so little is actually going to the cause? because it is popular! And who benefits-- BIG COMPANIES -- not women, men, or BOOBS.
4. There are few things I hate more than NFL Pink.  While I know it has raised funds, let's be real.  NFL could not be a more masculine setting and they are wearing pink for the boobs.  How much more Disney Princess -- the prince will rescue me can we get.  It is nauseating.  Not to mention the teams, Nike, Addidas, etc make millions off of making pink versions of their gear.  That money is not spent on research.  It's profit people. 
5.  Consumer philanthropy makes people lazy...they bought that pink spatula so now they don't need to volunteer, they don't need to donate to cancer research.  Well this is just crap.  I mean it's real, but it is also real stupid.  These color campaigns have led to LESS money in the hands of those doing the research because people believe they have already done their share.  Well the fact of the matter is that you didn't do your share...and people's lives actually depend on your assistance for researching better treatments and actual prevention.  

While I get that awareness is good--yes, everyone knows pink=breast cancer, this isn't the awareness we should be wanting.  We want money given to research institutes.  Money given to non-profits that provide cancer screenings, assistance for cancer afflicted families, and more.  This is what is NOT happening.

Lastly, my last rant is this: Why are we so focused on breast cancer when it isn't the most common? When it is NOT nearly the most deadly?  We have made excellent strides in treatment, but still know nothing about other cancers, like my mom's.  I can tell you why-- we are a sex obsessed culture.  Get this, the two most funded cancers? Prostate and Breast. This is no accident.  What is an accident is that all this pink stuff makes people believe breast cancer is their biggest risk of death, or even the most likely type of cancer they will get--but it IS NOT. 

What I beg of you is to 1. read this article by a breast cancer survivor.  and 2. please think twice before supporting every single companies pink campaign--and instead support research and non-profits actually doing the work. 

We Pass the Time with Food and Flavor

We have made it to October 7th.  I didn't know if I would, to be honest.  Dark days and times, moments and hours have filled the past months of life.  And at the same time laughter and warmth, and smiles and fullness.  October 3rd marked six long yet remarkably fast months without my mother.  I was sitting in counseling that morning expressing to my therapist just how SICK I am of missing and longing for her presence, her comfort, her touch, her voice.  I am tired of yearning for her reassurance, her phone calls, her texts, her emails.  I am tired of the flashbacks and nightmares of the horrorible things she went through last year.  I am tired of the fact that my mom is dead.

Similar to as someone might say they are sick of being sick, I am simply sick of grieving.  And this six month mark does nothing more but remind me of the many more "six months'" that I will have to grieve her absence, that I will have to witness her loss on the faces' of my family.  Six months is but a drop in the bucket when looking at the span of a lifetime but then why the hell does it feel as if I had to scrape by to make it here?

I have learned that we rarely give ourselves enough grace or slack or room to fuck up.  What I have learned is this: I am a horrible griever! I am horrible at it because grieving is a horrible thing to HAVE to do! But I HAVE to do it because my life will crumble if I do not face the reality that is my mother is no longer here...and the irony is that my mother would be the one to HELP me in the event that I would crumble (not that others wouldn't).  Mom's are the people we turn to to tell us the brutal truth, to comfort us and help us walk into our first day of work, who help us fix mistakes, laugh at mistakes, and point out our mistakes.  And learning to rely on others and myself for those things will never be easy.  But if I do not learn how to, my life will not continue on in a way that she would have wanted.

Learning all of these things has been difficult. Not only for me but for my bestest pal and manfriend.  I am not only learning this stuff on my own but trying to learn how we can be a team in this process, too.  So in the midst of the stress I was going to run a half marathon! Because what better way to think and process and de-stress than some exercise?? But then I broke my foot (it's really fine, but yes broken).  So Instead I've been baking and making us fat.  But again, grace.  (honestly, Christopher runs all the time and isn't fat and I exercise on a monthly schedule--lol).

I have been on a pumpkin kick given that it is fall of course....

Pumpkin Snickerdoodles -- Gluten Free of course were a big hit!

I changed this recipe quite a bit though-- I combined the requested flour amounts and used Namaste's baking blend, and didn't use shortening.  They were incredible.  Added a quarter cup butter. 

Pumpkin layered bread was my favorite though...Delicious!

Again I used Namaste's flour blend. I dropped an egg yolk in, so 2 whole eggs, 1 egg white. I just used raw sugar instead of stevia or sugar as it was cheapest.  This recipe is a perfect example of finding a non-gluten free yummy recipe and easily converting it by using a baking blend flour mix!  By doing that I didn't have to add any xantham gum (which is pricey!).

Next on the list is Pumpkin bread with caramel cream cheese frosting!

Who would not love that! I mean come on!!!

We also made some delicious, gooey, caramel chocolate brownies, I'll be honest, they were mostly from a box.  I just added unknown amounts of caramel and butter to the mix!  (and eggs as directed!)  SO SO Good!!  I have yet to find a homemade brownie recipe that I like as good as boxed brownies, and hence I stick with boxed!  I meant to put a pretzel crust on the bottom but totally forgot...oops!  Next time :)

We stopped by an orchard in Lebanon this weekend (ain't got nothin on Spicer's) and picked up some apples and I'm hoping to make caramel apple pie this week! Sounds incredible, right?