Thursday, May 31, 2012

Proposal

Not mine. I promise. My padre (not to mention my boyfriend) would be quite upset.  Or at least surprised!

Anywho.. I am sure that you have heard about this really cute couple who got engaged after a guy proposed by lip-dubbing to the bruno mars song (first live lip dub proposal ever).  It is quite the production.  Isaac (the dude) had his family, her family, and their friends involved in the proposal, and it was just such a cool moment. 

Watch the video, though, so you really get the full picture. 

There have been lots of cool proposals though, that's for sure.  Check out this Disney one, for example. 


Though these are so cool though, I can't help but wonder what I would want.  I really don't know, and am grateful I don't have to choose.  But really.  Would I want all of my friends and family there staring at me waiting for my response? Well first of all, why would you be asking a girl to marry you if you don't know her answer? Second of all girls can ask dudes too.  But my point is that I don't know if I would want lots of people there sharing that moment with me, or if I would want it to be a super intimate moment with this one dude telling me he wants to spend his life with me foreva and eva. 

Lastly, lets take a moment to remember this awful moment where this woman was subjected to an AWFUL sports event proposal (worst idea ever) and turned the dude down.  First off, sorry if that's how you were proposed to because that sucks.

Regardless, I am sure I won't do THAT.  And I'll let you know how it goes when I'm proposed to if I get proposed to.  Because maybe I'll propose.  No I probably won't because though I hate being traditional, with some things I just am. 

#251: Cute proposals, cute songs, cute people being so happy that it's impossible to think that everything in the world is bad.
#252: Moments of super hopeful bursts.
#253: Incredible family members willing to pour their nonexistant time into events that WILL lead to lives saved.
#254: Seeing my padre and bro bro interested in the work I do.  I love my job this summer despite how exhausted I am every Thursday... I love it... and would do it over in a heart beat!
#255: Moments of intense love.  Powerful, strong, love.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Gifts

#246: Sunshine! So much sunshine lately has been such a welcomed surprise!!  I love getting in hot cars, walking outside and feeling the warm air, and being able to sit in the warm sun.  It's finally warm enough to sit outside at night without freezing, too, which at the boat is one of my favorite things to do.
#247: Opportunities to feel grateful, positive, blessed, optimistic, hopeful.
#248: Sunsets on really clear days when the sky looks like it is a blank canvas waiting for the sun to paint an incredible goodnight drawing to all of us. 
#249: Welcome home excitement from Scarlet after being gone for five days. 
#250: Hugs from the boys after not seeing them for a week.  Their silly crazy excitement in the morning is contagious, silly, and uplifting.  When I asked them why they were so excited, Dominick said he was celebrating like he was having a party. Pierce said he just loved me so much.  Too cute for words.

Life throws us all kinds of curve balls, but we can't stop in our tracks.  I contemplated giving up on my #1000gifts because it is taking me FOREVER,  but I am 1/4 of the way there and I think that it will be a good thing to have while wanting to focus on lots of negatives. Plus, I hate giving up on things.  So, if I hit dry spells, you'll just have to help me find things to be grateful for, or memories to view as "gifts".  

Monday, May 21, 2012

Life's Lessons

Life has taught me many things, but one thing it has taught me over and over again is that it is not fair.  Things in life don't happen for specific reasons, good things happen to good people and bad people and bad things happen to good people and bad people.  Three years ago my madre was diagnosed with small cell neuroendocrine cancer of the cervix.  U of M helped her put up quite the fight and she fought it with valor.  She is 2 1/2 years out and has enjoyed lots of trips to the lake, time with family and countless joy with friends and family.  Unfortunately, however, the treatment to that cancer has brought us back here again, facing Myelodysplastic Syndrome, a bone marrow cancer that requires a bone marrow transplant that will likely take place some time this year.  We are hoping for the best, but she has a rough road ahead of her including chemo, several weeks in the hospital, 100 days requiring round the clock care, limited travel, and increased risk of infection.  We are all struggling with the diagnosis but are committed to having an enjoyable summer before putting on our boxing gloves to beat the crap out of this cancer. 

Our family has taken a beating from the "C" word, and it is really hard for me to put in to words how much my life has been wrecked by its traumatic life course.  Losing my grandma Dixie to cancer in 2008 is still such a sore wound, and to have a mother who has to fight this yet again while my grandfather continues to fight Leukemia seems absolutely cruel.  I can have moments of absolute feelings of devastation and sobs, and other moments of absolute numbness and aloofness.  I know that it is absurd to have a constant pity party, but it also feels absurd that the world expects me to put a smile on my face and carry on as if I don't have a 2 ton weight on my shoulders.  It's hard to balance the what-if's with trying to be positive, it's hard to balance not wanting to miss out on anything with not wanting to be perceived as a debby-downer.  All of it is simply hard. 

At the same time, how many families are BLESSED with the opportunity to be reminded of how much they LOVE one another and how much they are grateful for one another.  I can't help but look at other families and realize how grateful I am for the closeness that the five of us have.  I am beyond grateful for all that my parents have sacrificed for my siblings and I, and I will never be able to thank them enough for the life that they have provided me with.  I love my family so much, and though it breaks my heart to see my mother go through this again, having her fight for her life again, I think we have to find the tiny glimmers of hope in the moments where we are given incredible moments to love one another so selflessly in this time, in ways that many families never get to experience.

If you want to follow my mom's journey, you can find her on carepages.com by creating an account and searching for bethpolen.  We are hoping to inspire lots of people to join the national bone marrow registry at marrow.org...it's an incredibly easy process to donate...saving a life has never been so easy!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Happy Mother's Day!

To all the hot mama's out there...but especially to this hot mama!!!