Zero Dark Thirty

A couple weeks ago, Christopher and I watched the film Zero Dark Thirty. He had recorded it onto the DVR and we watched it one evening before he left for a business trip.  Though I read the description of the film I seriously had NO idea what I was getting in for.

The movie portrays the time between 9-11 and the killing of Osama Bin Laden (yeah, not a light topic for the day).  It shows the work of CIA operatives who were interrogating known accomplices of Bin Laden-- in pre no-torture days at that.  The opening scenes are some of the most repulsive scenes I have ever allowed myself to watch.  I felt nauseous, dizzy, and conflicted.

These operatives were doing their job, and doing it well.  They were in places such as Pakistan where they were hated on, threatened, shot at, and bombed in order to discover information that would lead to the eventual take down of Bin Laden.  That is medal-worthy work, people.  And thank GOD for the men and women (holla at you, kick ass girl in the movie)

But at the same time, their work was degraded, in-humane, and down right disgusting.  They were hitting, kicking, starving, depriving, water boarding and everything in between.  On top of that, they used tactics such as shaming, nudity, using dog collars and more to embarrras and strip away every last ounce of humanness from these individuals. 

Now, keep in mind, the individuals being tortured were likely terrorists. And I say likely because most of the people they are seen interrogating (torturing rather) were not necessarily terrorists but had been seen with a terrorist at one point or another.  A serious case of in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I was left with a deep sense of WHY? Why do we respond to hate (terrorism) with more hate (torture)? Why do we respond to cries for help (from those being tortured) with silence (or more pain infliction).  Why does it seem natural to inflict such pain, shame, and torture on any human being regardless of their crime?

Now I preface my reactions with the fact that I am not an eye for an eye type of person.  I believe in redemption and rehabilitation.  Would terrorists choose terrorism if they had other choices? I like to believe that they would NOT.  And I can appreciate that for the families who lost loved ones in any of the Al Queda terrorist attacks that it feels good knowing the men to blame were tortured, injured, shamed, and caused pain.  But I beg you to consider WHY that makes you feel better. Not because I judge you, not because it is wrong, but is that actually how you feel, and questioning your beliefs is never a bad thing.

Something that also struck me was that the movie critically proclaimed the "no-torture" rulings that Obama put in place.  It was so interesting for me (So so pro no-torture) to see this from the point of view of the people who had been doing the torturing. 

Lastly I will leave you with a link to an article about the movie that is much more eloquent than mine!

Social Justice Pump Up

So we (Christopher and I) are training for the Columbus Half Marathon.  Shocking, right? I don't think you could meet someone who hates running more than I do.  But it's going okay actually.  We did 6 miles this Saturday...and I actually did it! I would still rather swim 6 miles than run them, but I did it! Shockingly! And I am slow, like really slow, like I think most people walk faster than I "run", but I don't really care because I'm running.  and for long amounts of times and long amounts of distances.

Anywho.  How do I make it on these long runs you ask? Well I count songs.  Like a mile is 3 songs.  And  my six mile run on Saturday was 17 songs (and 3 pandora commercials and a break from when it wanted to boot me off for inactivity).  Pretty sweet, right?  Now I try to think of other things too so that I don't obsess over the countdown, but still, I count songs.  It gives me a visual when looking at distance/time covered makes me discouraged.

But some songs are like legit pumper-uppers, and other songs are just passing the time songs.  My favorite right now you ask? Same Love- Mackelmore and Mary Lambert!  Seriously an incredible song!

 "The right wing conservatives think it's a decision
And you can be cured with some treatment and religion
Man-made rewiring of a predisposition
Playing God, aw nah here we go
America the brave still fears what we don't know
And God loves all his children, is somehow forgotten
But we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago"

 "When I was at church they taught me something else
If you preach hate at the service those words aren't anointed
That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned
When everyone else is more comfortable remaining voiceless
Rather than fighting for humans that have had their rights stolen
I might not be the same, but that's not important
No freedom till we're equal, damn right I support it"

What incredible lyrics!  I mean seriously, we should be reminded of the fact that there is no FREEDOM for ANY of us until we can ALL experience FREEDOM.  And we as a society LOVE to turn our heads, our eyes, our ears, our hearts away from the reality of the hate that we have today, but it is UNDENIABLE.

Today in the news we see a judge FINALLY making a statement about New York search policy that has been applied mostly to the hispanic and black communitites.  FINALLY.  Our black babies are still DYING TWICE AS MUCH as our white babies (EVEN when we control for things like education level, income level).  What will it take for us to realize that HATE has consequences? That racism is ingrained into our minds and societies? That our freedom means NOTHING when other's cannot experience it?

In the news today we also hear of a STATE FAIR (Missouri) having a rodeo where there is an individual with an Obama mask, and the announcer was enticing the audience saying that the bull would run down Obama, take him down.  While the govenor has thankfully spoken out against this, how do you imagine black individuals in the audience feeling while watching a stunt like this? How do you imagine this display of racism is going to affect little minds that are just learning about the world? Because, let's not be ignorant, and finally recognize that it WILL Affect them.  

Bullying

I admitted a few months ago on Blogger that I love the Kardashian's.  Well since that post, KimK ended a 72 day marriage, KourtneyK got knocked up, and Kourtney and Khloe take NY 2 began.  Surprisingly, the Kardashian sisters have been involved in something incredibly positive in the past few days, too.

The Kardashian sisters went on Extreme MakeOver: Home Edition to support a family whose children had suffered greatly from bullying.  Though bullying has been receiving lots of attention lately in the media with the rise of bullying-related suicides, bullying is still both rampant and detrimental for children and youth.

Watch Jonah's Story.  He is full of honesty, brokenness, strength, and triumph.  His story is moving, powerful, emotional, and inspirational.  Join me in lifting his struggles and pain up to the One who can impact his life.

#89: I am grateful to be at a place in my life where I can be confident without being cocky, myself without being afraid, and free without feeling judged. 

#90: Celebrities are a confusing population to me.  They get paid to live their life, basically.  Though movie stars or musicians get paid for their goods/works, what made the Kardashians famous?  Despite this weird-ness, I am grateful that their fame and the fame of others is doing good in some ways.  Many ways, even.

#91: Christmas is upon us.  Though that means materialism, Hallmark, and money in many ways; it also means donating to those in need, making Christmas happen for families in need, and spending time decorating the house for the holidays.  I love this season.

Remembering the Moment

September 11, 2001 is a day that everyone old enough to remember, does remember.  I remember the raw emotion, watching the 2nd plane hit, watching the towers fall, and watching the Pentagon and field in Pennsylvania go up in flames and smoke.  I remember the people around me, the tears, the phone calls and the intense fear that we all began to feel as more and more things unfolded on the screen in front of us.

I was living in Buenos Aires, Argentina at the time.  In some ways that made us feel safer...the attacks are in America, we are not in America.  However, the 9/11 attacks spurred other terror cells to make threats against American buildings and people in many foreign countries, including Argentina.  Our school and embassy were threatened.  Our schools became guarded not just by security guards, but by guards with machine guns (loaded).  We had to sign in and out of school grounds.  And personal safety was always on the minds of our parents.

Where were you?  Are you still able to engage with the emotion that the day evokes for so many?  I was able to spend some time today watching the memorial services that took place in DC, New York and Pennsylvania.  I was moved to tears several times.  And though I didn't know, personally, any of the 2,977 victims that died that day, I am emotionally distraught over the pure evil that sparked such an attack, moved by the outpouring of love and support in this country, moved by the tears of family members, and moved by this thing called life that we so often take for granted.

As this 10th anniversary comes to an end I am thankful for my life.  I think of so many things that could have claimed my life thus far, and of how truly blessed I am.  Just last year on September 11th I was in a rollover car accident.  Not only did my friend and I walk away with our lives, but with no broken bones or chronic injuries.  Each life is precious, each life is important, and each life has a purpose.  This weekend has truly reminded me of this. 

Words I Hate

If you've ever had a conversation with me, you know that I can fall into swearing like a sailor.  You might also know that though I will spit out my share of hells, damns, shits, and the occasional f**ks; there are some words that I refuse to use.  I realize that swearing can misrepresent me, what I stand for, and I'm sure it makes me look uneducated at times.  What I also know is that I have self control; my language is my choice and I decide the words that come from my mouth, and the consequences they have.

Having a teenage brother can prove to be oh so insightful at times...for instance, I am realizing more and more that guys enjoy emasculating themselves and each other in order to compensate for how they feel about themselves and each other.  It is incredibly messed up and makes no sense; their words are hurtful and Psychology textbooks will undoubtedly agree with me when I say that it can have lasting effects.  Sending a message that you can only be a man if you do X, Y or Z is limiting and demeaning.

Worse than that even is this stupid trend in people using the word rape to refer to anything other than a sexual assault; forced sexual interactions.  While I have heard it used mostly by boys, I'm sure there are a few girls out there who say it as well.  But stop for a second and think about your words: "that test raped me" or "taxes so high they rape you" etc etc (BTW I feel nauseous typing those phrases).  Do you REALLY think a test or taxes can compare to the turmoil, hurt, pain, and devastation that a sexual assault causes?  Well they can't.  I promise.  1 in 3 women will experience a sexual assault.  1 in 9 female minors have been sexually assaulted.  When you or your friend, brother, father, uncle uses this language...I guarantee you that they will say it in the presence of one of these women or girls at some point.  As someone who understands, it will NOT go unnoticed and it will NOT be said without these girls and women being reminded of the pain they suffered through because a man (or woman) took the word and action of "rape" lightly.

What about the r-word; retarded.  There is quite the campaign going on to get this word banned from everyday speech and I couldn't be more excited about it.  I am super passionate in general, and give me a cause to support that backs the social, emotional and overall well-being of a specifically targeted population...and I'll back it. 

There are lots of words I hate.  I could go on forever...but I've learned that it's best to put my efforts into a few arenas at a time. 

Half Masted

While enjoying a great meal at George's (see yesterday's post), my sister and I were struck by the news that was on the TV by us.  A shooting?  At an event with an Arizona congresswoman?  Really?  I felt frustrated, upset, hurt and emotional.  This tragedy affected so many people, families and communities around the country, and I am fearful about the fact that there are such intense extremists and radicalism in our nation.  From Glenn Beck, Palin and privatized militia...where will the line be drawn?  Will it just be ignored?  This isn't republican vs democrat because I do not believe Palin (or the Tea Party) represent Republicans.  This is about intense ideas, scary ideas influencing our citizens.  No one but the shooter is to blame for what happened Saturday, but at the same time, when there are lists of political "threats" that are available to the public, is that now dangerous? Was that responsible?

To read an amazing blog on the tragedy, click here.  Adrienne is an activist in many areas.  She is controversial, she herself tends to have some extreme views on things, but she has an amazing story and great insight.

I walked on campus today, and saw the half-masted flag.  I asked my mother if it was for the shooting, and she said yes.  I was struck with a sense of beauty from this.  All around the country today, flags were raised only half way.  We were only half as joyful today, we were only half as whole today as we have lost people, important people, including an amazing little girl.  This world is horribly broken, yet today, our nation stood by one another in acknowledging the fact that it will take time to adjust to life without loved ones lost. 

Something might be wrong...

What are your favorite things to do?  Play video games where you kill people; watch TV shows where women are hurt and poorly represented; make fun and laugh at the expense of others?  This is just a small sampling of the many activities that people take place in...activities that I truly believe are hurting us in SO many ways. 

I have access to guns...they aren't mine, I do NOT touch them and I dislike them, but I do have access.  I also have access to games where I am able to kill people to let off steam when I'm angry.  How do we draw the line?  Anger makes it difficult for us to see clearly...why would we want to make this line more difficult for youth to judge by giving them insanely violent games?  What's worse is that even though they have a "rating" system, it isn't as monitored as say a movie is...meaning that some games that are violent and meant (some reason) for adults can be ranked Teen...guaranteeing higher sales.

What about TV?  I LOVE TV.  Seriously, I do.  I love being able to watch cute/good looking people live out really interesting lives.  Though this is true, I think TV messes with my mind a lot more than I would like for it to.  When I do homework at my house in AA I put on marathons of NCIS or SVU...both of which are kinda creepy and deal with intense crimes and people who have been emotionally affected by the crimes committed.  The problem is that we, including myself, become numb to these things.  So numb that when the crimes actually happen and are on the local news we don't care.  Or so numb that my little brother can say that he dislikes watching the news in Kentucky because all they talk about are sad things...rapes, murders, child abuse...while joking. 

When I think about how numb I am personally to the crimes, pain, and injustices that exist around me I feel guilty, kinda nauseous, and sad.  I have a very big "I need to save you" issue...not because I think living my way is best, but because I really hate thinking that other people understand pain, too.