Zero Dark Thirty

A couple weeks ago, Christopher and I watched the film Zero Dark Thirty. He had recorded it onto the DVR and we watched it one evening before he left for a business trip.  Though I read the description of the film I seriously had NO idea what I was getting in for.

The movie portrays the time between 9-11 and the killing of Osama Bin Laden (yeah, not a light topic for the day).  It shows the work of CIA operatives who were interrogating known accomplices of Bin Laden-- in pre no-torture days at that.  The opening scenes are some of the most repulsive scenes I have ever allowed myself to watch.  I felt nauseous, dizzy, and conflicted.

These operatives were doing their job, and doing it well.  They were in places such as Pakistan where they were hated on, threatened, shot at, and bombed in order to discover information that would lead to the eventual take down of Bin Laden.  That is medal-worthy work, people.  And thank GOD for the men and women (holla at you, kick ass girl in the movie)

But at the same time, their work was degraded, in-humane, and down right disgusting.  They were hitting, kicking, starving, depriving, water boarding and everything in between.  On top of that, they used tactics such as shaming, nudity, using dog collars and more to embarrras and strip away every last ounce of humanness from these individuals. 

Now, keep in mind, the individuals being tortured were likely terrorists. And I say likely because most of the people they are seen interrogating (torturing rather) were not necessarily terrorists but had been seen with a terrorist at one point or another.  A serious case of in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I was left with a deep sense of WHY? Why do we respond to hate (terrorism) with more hate (torture)? Why do we respond to cries for help (from those being tortured) with silence (or more pain infliction).  Why does it seem natural to inflict such pain, shame, and torture on any human being regardless of their crime?

Now I preface my reactions with the fact that I am not an eye for an eye type of person.  I believe in redemption and rehabilitation.  Would terrorists choose terrorism if they had other choices? I like to believe that they would NOT.  And I can appreciate that for the families who lost loved ones in any of the Al Queda terrorist attacks that it feels good knowing the men to blame were tortured, injured, shamed, and caused pain.  But I beg you to consider WHY that makes you feel better. Not because I judge you, not because it is wrong, but is that actually how you feel, and questioning your beliefs is never a bad thing.

Something that also struck me was that the movie critically proclaimed the "no-torture" rulings that Obama put in place.  It was so interesting for me (So so pro no-torture) to see this from the point of view of the people who had been doing the torturing. 

Lastly I will leave you with a link to an article about the movie that is much more eloquent than mine!

Working Woman

I have been working now for almost five months as a social worker with Children's Hospital--doing home visits through a prenatal through age three parent support and abuse prevention program.  And yes, I often get asked what I do.  Oh and yes, I often get told that "it must be nice to make your own schedule".  Oh and yes, I do often get told LOTS of things about what people expect my clientele to be like. 

It has been hard for me to internally balance what I see every single day through my job and what the media, pop culture, and even history have taught the public (and my friends and family) about who I am likely serving.  Not to mention, our highly divided country is becoming more and more difficult to navigate as my job requires me to help my families navigate the process of seeking assistance, enrolling in federal programs, and helping them understand that the lies the media and news speak of those who get assistance ARE NOT true. 

There- I said it- the way the news portrays my food stamps receiving, Medicaid getting, WIC assisted families is ABSURD, INACCURATE, HURTFUL, and SHAMING.

And these are some reasons why:

- Welfare Fraud is the main reason most people have negative views of welfare.  Why do you hear about welfare fraud? Because it is good news to report  to taxpaying viewers that their money is being wasted when one woman, for example, is claiming 38 children (who do not exist) getting benefits for all of them (this did happen).  It is also good news when women (recently in columbus) were selling WIC formula for cash.  (ask why sh
e did that? well she did that because she had extra left over and she thought it would be a good way to get cash for a beamer. Oh just kidding--to have cash to pay utilities). 

I am not applauding welfare fraud at all.  But the cases are few and far between the REAL benefactors of these programs (1.5-2.5% of cases).  The media can easily sell these stories because it helps the public continue to stigmatize and shame the users of these programs.

- Do you realize that even WITH benefits, most of the families I work with do not have beds to sleep on, do not have secured housing, do not have money left over for the momma and poppa by the end of the month, and often times do not have enough clothing for any of the family members.  My families are constantly having to rely on places that give out donations (did you know food pantries provide often expired food).  Just because a family is getting assistance does NOT mean they are living well.

- Medicaid is "free" medical coverage for women, children, families who fall below 100-200% of the federal poverty level (changes based on who you are and where you live).  Well, folks, if I were to get pregnant in the state of Ohio before I am married--my salary would qualify me for Medicaid.  Would I apply? HELL YES.  Why? Because it would guarantee me and fake baby the best of healthcare.  With my salary alone could I still get that with the Health coverage I have? Possibly, but mostly because I have a good fake baby daddy.  Alone I would not in any way.  Here's my point-- The benefits are available and it makes sense to use them-- they are designed to help families temporarily, and designed to make sure babies have the best start they can possibly get. 

- Something to remember is that while the programs are helpful, it can be nearly impossible to get out of the cycle of needing assistance. Why? Because the income levels are set so low that if you are even making minimum wage full time, your benefits will be stopped, likely including your childcare (title XX) benefits--making it impossible to still work and make that little.  You cannot raise a kid and pay all of your bills on that little with no assistance.


The families I work for represent the greater whole-- almost 40 million Americans recieve some type of assistance from the government.  And we as a country SHAME that to no end.  We make it seem like families are CHOOSING this life, and we also make it appear to be an enjoyable thing.  What is disgusting to me is what this really means for us as a whole: We shake our heads in disgust at the thought of helping other people-- children, moms and dads.  How awful is it that we as a nation do not want to take care of the people who are our next door neig
hbors, your kids peers, or the people sitting in the pew behind you.  We as a nation LAUGH at a president who has tried VERY hard to ensure these benefits for these families.  What does that make us as people? 

I always get told the "bootstraps" quote when I open this conversation--people just need to find a way to make things work.  But when babies are born into poverty, do not complete middle school (let alone high school or college), and may not even be able to read.  Tell me, how are they supposed to make things work without a little help?  Oh so they shouldn't have kids?  Well tell me, how the HELL are they supposed to learn about birth control if we keep it so god damn hush hush and keep shutting down our Planned Parenthoods and non-profit health centers. 

You can choose to belief what you would like.  But take a moment to think about what type of person you WANT to be.  What values do you WANT to convey to those around you? 

Osama Bin Laden vs Martin Luther King Jr.

If you've been on facebook or twitter (yes I am still playing with it!) lately then you have noticed a trending in statuses; some celebrating the death of OBL, some with a quote from MLK Jr. referencing the need to NOT rejoice in the death of a single enemy despite mourning the loss of loved ones, others reference Obama drama (people felt he took responsibility for it/others think he did rightfully so), and lastly...other statuses mock all of the above while also, at times, expressing that the quote from MLK Jr. implies we should feel empathy towards OBL. 

I have a blog.  So I get to weigh in on all of this.

1.  I don't like Osama Bin Laden; obviously.  He, along with dozens of others people that are part of Al Queda, were responsible for 3,000 deaths on 9/11 and not to mention the deaths from their attacks on embassies and and the USS Cole.  Though this is true, Bin Laden is not the only one responsible, and his death will not get rid of terrorism.  In fact, our terror alert warning has been elevated. 

2.  When I woke up Monday morning and read about the celebrations that occurred around our country in the wake of Bin Laden's death I literally felt sick.  Weren't we condemning Afghanistan for their celebrations when they saw the devastation in our nation?  Weren't we claiming that they had NO empathy, were inhumane, and poorly cultured?  We, America, are all of those things.  Instead of taking Bin Laden's death as a anti-terrorism victory, we turned it into a disgusting celebration.  People have been comparing Bin Laden to Hitler for several reasons, and no, I wouldn't have celebrated his death either; the ending of his RULE; yes.  His death? No. I'm not saying I want Bin Laden alive; but I will not be brought to the level of terrorist mentality where I wish death upon others.  I have been severely hurt in my lifetime, and know SO many who have lost loved ones in acts of violence...none of which would wish DEATH in return.

3.  MLK Jr.'s quote is incredible...look at it yourself:

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."

4.  Obama isn't my favorite person in the world; parts of his budget aren't great, I don't like Libya/middle east mess etc etc.  Though this is true, let's look at the facts.  Bush was president for 7 years during the search for OBL.  Obama has been president for little over 2 years.  Bush spent/wasted a lot more money on the defense department, whereas Obama spends (still too much) enough to get the job done.  Part of what their statuses said was that Obama was just trying to take away paychecks from military personnel, personnel like the Seals that killed Osama.  Obama wasn't trying to take away paychecks, nor was he trying to make there be an issue over budgets; the GOP had put riders (related to issues like Planned Parenthood) onto their budget proposals, making it impossible to compromise.  People need to get there facts right.  Oh and by the way, it WAS Obama's decision to kill Osama...as in he watched the events happen live.

5.  How messed up is our world that this is even a topic?  What a ridiculous mess of humanity that we respond to violence with violence.