Missing in Action

I have been MIA because....

#174: A spring break seeing many faces!  I got to see Alex in Princeton, Merissa in NYC and Amanda in Boston.  It was a CRAZY long week but I am so glad I was able to see so many lovely friends in such a short amount of time :)
#175: A man in my life worthy of my time and my love.
#176: A graduate program that though draining, pushes and forces me to think critically about the world I live in.
#177: Quality time devoted to school work, and getting the most out of my two years in this incredibly insightful program.

#178: An opportunity to pursue my desired internship for next year...AND GETTING IT! (woot woot)
#179: Working with clients in the Livingston and Washtenaw counties.  It is challenging, hard, rewarding, and incredible.
#180: Endless opportunities to be humbled in this world.  Getting a reality check telling me I don't know everything, I am not perfect, and I am not superwoman is always hard and always needed. 
#181: Enjoying everyday life happenings is sometimes hard when I am so busy.  Prioritizing daily activities by musts, needs, and optionals has changed my world!

Here's to hoping your February ended on a positive note, and your March began on a good note!

Brief Update

Well finals week has descended upon us at the University of Michigan.  That means people are crazy, grumpy and tired.  I am most definitely included in that.

I will be done with my first semester of grad school in less than 24 hours and I couldn't be more excited.  I am looking forward to a few weeks of craziness: interning, lesson planning and sleeping.  Maybe working out, too.  We'll see.

I spent the weekend in Indianapolis and had TONS of fun, but became even more exhausted.  I am working on getting all of my work done now so I just have to turn everything in tomorrow and hope for the best!

 
Stay warm!

#92: Warm coats.  I own way too many coats, but they all have various uses, looks and warmth.  Thankful for them.
#93: Great friends, great family, a great life. 
#94: My internship has been incredible.  Challenging, difficult, frustrating.  But incredible. 

Busy Bee

The semester is winding down, friends.  That of course means that school is getting crazy, hectic, and busy.  So many assignments due in such a short amount of time.  It's crazy how much can be due at the same time. 

Overall, this semester has gone really well.  I have learned, been challenged, and have been pushed to be uncomfortable.  This semester has not only taught me invaluable lessons in the field of social work, but also in my life.  I have had to define myself as a practitioner, advocate, and student.  And have had to secure a friend base in this new season of life.

I am excited about being in such an incredible program, and look forward to the possibility of continuing my education in the future.  I love learning, and can't thank U of M enough for blessing me with incredible professors and incredible opportunities!

#77: Loving the challenging nature of school.  My papers are not simple research regurgitation, but instead incorporate critical analysis and application. 
#78: I have enjoyed my colleagues so much this semester.  I have learned so much from my peers and classmates.  Forever Grateful.
#79: My internship has allowed me to learn in a new way.  Everything is applicable, everything is apparent, and everything is visible.
#80: Life in Michigan is cold and grey, but thankful that the wintery mixes have held off thus far.

November

November means lots of things: The semester is about to wind down, which actually means amp up; It is about to get really cold really fast and snow will soon be on the ground; Christmas music is now acceptable; and you should feel burned out (check point one). 

Everything is going as planned.  It snowed on Thursday, it's really cold, I'm really busy with school, and the semester is getting crazy.  Oh and because it snowed, Christmas music is TOTALLY acceptable now. 

By the way, if you're like me and want to cry on the first snow fall, be near children on the first snow fall of the year.  I was picking up kids from school, and when it started snowing, all of the children at the school were jumping up and down, clapping, and running around in circles.  The kids talked about it the entire drive home (30 min) and also told me they need their snow pants....

Well happy November, friends.  Hang in there.  It is gonna get crazy, but just remember...

"I get by with a little help from my friends"

....

#51: Time to sleep.  I took a 3 hour nap yesterday, and slept a full nine hours last night.

#52: Healthy mamma's.  My lovely madre had to experience another ER visit last night.  She's fine...and I am eternally greatful for that.

#53: The freedom to cry.  Because I have a healthy madre, a healthy aunt, a fighting papa, and an angel grandma, I cannot listen to Martina McBride's song without crying.  And that's okay.  I love my family, and am honored to be related to such ridiculously strong people.

#54: Babies.  I can't get enough of the little one I've been getting to spend time with.  She's talking some, is so much more mobile, and gets so excited to see me. 

FINISHED

The craziest part about being finished?  I am totally not finished at all!  There are always new projects to work on and new 1000s of pages to read.  But honestly, making it to this time today has seemed so impossible the past few days.  Considering the hours of sleep I missed out on and the hours of my life span taken away by stress, I am just grateful that everything actually got accomplished!  While I could worry about grades and my scores on each of my assignments, I am going to choose to be content with the fact that each assignment is turned in, complete, and was completed to the best of my ability, considering the resources (ie time) that was available to me. 

Speaking of stress, I have become a bit more educated on what it can do to your body.  IT CAN MAKE YOU GAIN WEIGHT LIKE WOAH.  So secret revealing time: I have gained 12ish pounds since starting my masters program in September.  That's alot, people.  The confusing and frustrating part to this is that I am actually eating less (I'm busy, friends) and exercising more (for sanity, yo).  Now I am not saying I deserve the healthy person of the year award, but my habits are better than they were this summer, for sure.

I was talking to my doctor about headache medicines (they cause weight gain too) and she mentioned that the weight is probably because of higher levels of stress hormones in my body.  Daily stress is more damaging to your body than trauma.  For reals. And your body internalizes this daily stress via the fight or flight concept.  So when I eat, my body saves ALL of those calories for future battle.  And when I exercise, my metabolism is not boosted by as much as it used to be.  So...I have to destress......

#48: Getting through these past few days
#49: Helpful doctors who don't think I'm superficial when voicing that spontaneous weight gain is no fun
#50: Freedom to not feel ashamed about my body.  This is an every day battle, but I am confident that I will continue gaining more and more freedom in this realm.

Crazies

Technology is the cause for my crazies.  So it's not even me-crazies.  That's the worst; I am not even contributing to my crazies.

Between phones being obnoxious, files failing, and presentations being difficult, I am so done with this week full of countless assignments.  (Five to be exact).  So at noon tomorrow, I will be celebrating.  How will I celebrate, well I am going to buy a nice starbucks, and relax as I slowly continue checking things off of my to-do list.  Which, for me, sounds like the nicest afternoon ever....

#46: the unconditional love of a puppy.  No matter what my day has been like, she loves me and greats me so eagerly.
#47: the ctools confirmation email telling me my assignment has been submitted....officially off of the to-do list, i other words. 

Never Underestimate

...the BUCKEYES!!!

I love my Buckeyes.  I really do.  And I love my Wolverines.  Trust me, it can happen.  But the Wisconsin/OSU game was out of this world on Saturday night.

I was babysitting (3yr old triplets and a 17mth baby) on Saturday night so after the kiddos went to bed I got to do some reading (have I mentioned how much reading I do every week?) and watch the best football game ever.

I have to mention, too, that I don't like Wisconsin.  Every time I see a team I like play them, I like them less and less; so seeing Wisconsin lose is way fun.  And seeing them lose with only 28 seconds to go...much more fun!

I hope you watched the game...you would have been on the edge of your seat because it was CRAY CRAY!

#37: Sports are fun.  I love watching my favorite teams and watching them work so hard to make their fans smile and cheer.  Did you hear that horseshoe crowd on saturday!?
#38: Winning.  I don't care how ridiculous this is, but I am much happier after my teams win.
#39: Children.  I love them.  I really do.  Orchard with the children pictures to come.  Then you'll understand why.
#40: Huron River Dr. in Ann Arbor is the prettiest road I have driven on, especially with all of the Fall colors.  Take the time.  Do it.

Group Projects

When I started grad school, I totally thought that my days of group projects and setting up group meetings were done.  Think again.

I have done more group projects in my first two months of grad school than I think I have EVER done.  It's crazy.  I feel like every single week I am meeting with a group to plan a debate, a presentation, a paper, or something.  It's cray cray.

Good thing I like what I'm learning.  And good thing I am actually learning...

#31: Grateful for good groups! 
#32: Grateful for learning. 

Wedding Watchers

Since I have no academic motivation, I have been working out. Lots.  As in today I had to convince myself that going twice was not a good idea.  I made a pro/con list.  I not even joking.  I have a problem.

At the gym (OPCC) the cardio equipment looks out these large windows so you can see the beautiful lake, beach and a walkway dividing the club from the grassy area before the lake.  It is quite beautiful and looking out the window definitely helps the time go by.

The windows on the bottom are the gym, and where those people are standing is where the tent was...

On Saturday, they were setting up this huge tent on this tiny little area of grass.  I was so confused, but the more I watched the decorations go up, the photographer plan her shooting locations, and the groom arrive, it became obvious that they were setting up for a wedding.  As I walked out of the gym, I saw the Bridal Party going into the banquet restrooms (they're huge) and I saw the groomsmen hanging out outside.  The Ballroom was beautifully decorated with tons of flowers and lots of pretty center pieces. 

Everything looked absolutely beautiful, but I couldn't help thinking of how awkward it would be to watch a wedding from the gym.  And how awkward it would be to be watched by sweaty worker-outers on your wedding day!  The tent where the ceremony took place was literally right outside the windows in the gym.  So awkward!

Well when I went on Sunday I watched them tear down the tent outside.  And my creeper self looked through yesterday's sign-in sheet to see if anyone was there at 3 (the time of the ceremony which I know because there was a huge blown up invitation in the entry way).  And there were SEVERAL people there between 3ish and 5ish.  How AWKWARD!!! I love it. 

I'm totes going to try to be a wedding watcher one day.  I'll report back if I get lucky.  (but not the inappropriate kind of lucky.  That'd be even MORE awkward.)

#26: The weather this weekend was INCREDIBLE.  So beautiful, so sunny and so fall-like.
#27: Peace and Quiet.  I slept for 12 hours on Saturday night.  I slept in the basement to ensure no sunshine and no noise.  It was glorious.
#28: NCIS marathons.  They may ruin my productivity, but they keep me entertained for hours.  Not to mention all of the safety tips I am learning.
#29: Tights Weather.  I love wearing tights.  And I love that I can wear them right now without getting too hot and without freezing my ass off.
#30: Text Messaging.  I don't like talking on the phone.  And now I really never need to.  AND I can text my friends that live far away while doing other activities so we can be busy, and still talk :) so cute.

Where are YOU?

Motivation.  I have none of it.  Where did it go???

Halfway through the semester, and I am suddenly motivation-less.  I had been doing so great with motivation; homework filled Saturday and Sundays.  And week days filled with classes, interning, and work.  I had no Saturday or Sunday plans because I knew how much homework I needed to do.  But instead of doing homework, I've worked out, slept, ate, and have hung out with friends.  All great things, but in the scheme of things, I should be doing homework!!!

And where did this sudden desire to work out come from?  I never have a desire to work out.  It is usually just one of those things I know I should do, even though I hate doing it.  But lately, I miss it LOTS when I miss a day.  What's with that? So strange.  It's like I can only be motivated for school or working out.  Never both at the same time.  WTF.  Doesn't my body know how desperate I am for smooth sailing?  I just want school work to keep getting accomplished and I want to be healthy and fit.  Too much to ask for apparently. 

Look how cute these great little work out people are.  I hope I look like I am having that much fun when I work out.  Although I definitely find the smiley working outers completely obnoxious.  There is a lady at the gym who sings and dances along to her iPod while she works out.  It's just so awkward and unusually weird.  I don't want to be her because most people act afraid of her.  But I do often envy the women who can be sexy while working out.  How is it possible? I have NO idea.  But they make their sweat work for them, that's for sure. 



#24: A gym where I can go whenever I want and get a great work out.  Grateful for opportunities to be heatlhy.
#25: Guilt free foods.  I love eating, but there is nothing worse than the feeling of guilt after enjoying a meal.  Guilt free food like fruit, vegetables, and healthy meals are so much more satisfying.
#26: So grateful for the experience of grad school.  It is challenging and difficult but is showing me just how I am meant to work for justice in this world.  I am learning about my strengths, weaknesses, gifting, and passions.  It is a blessing.

A Goal, A Project

Since I have SO much free time (...) I decided to embark on a project.  It's called 1000 gifts.  I follow a few people on twitter and blogger that have done it so I looked in to it.  Basically, instead of complaining and looking for all of the "wrong" things, I am going to spend time in the upcoming months/however long it takes, to name 1000 things that I am grateful for.  I will be blogging about the process, the gifts, and how it feels.  I will also be tweeting some of the gifts :) (@jackiepolen).  Join me in this LARGE but EXCITING undertaking.

And because I like having lots of things to do, I am hoping to encourage others to do the same through my experience with this.  If you're curious about the process, or interested in how it's going...ASK :)

...#1.. sleeping babies, cool breeze and time to work on my project...

Correction

I actually have THREE readings left.  I was forgetting about a class.

Oh, and I have one paper at least written!! (I wrote it in 20 minutes, though, so it needs edited).

Now on to the monster paper...5 pages single spaced.  And it is more detailed and messy than you can imagine.  And I haven't even written it yet...that's how messy it really is.


p.s.  I am currently working in my bed.  I have notebooks, folders and papers all around me, I'm working on my computer and I have my iPad next to me with my readings on it that I need to reference in my papers.  I'm buried in school.  Literally and figuratively. 

Wanted: Motivation

I am currently believing this with all of my heart.  I am struggling, hard core, to stay focused.  When my to-do list is sooo long it definitely feels overwhelming. 

I have, however, made quite a dent in it thus far today.  I am done with all but 1 of my readings (I had 16 total readings by the way.  Anywhere from 30-100 pages long each).  What I have not done, however, are the most important things on the to-do list: one project thing that at least has been started, and one paper that I haven't even thought about.

Football is on, I'm exhausted, I am doing laundry, and my puppy wants to play. Plus I'm working at 6 so I just keep watching the clock half hoping it slows down so I can get work done and half hoping it speeds up so I can leave and be apart from my stupid agenda (I'm sorry agenda. You know I love you, but you're a huge stressor as of late). 

Any tips for motivation? Anything that helps you focus through the pain of doing homework for hours on end on the weekend? HELP A GIRL OUT.