Pink does NOT equal Breast Cancer Treatment/Prevention

The month of October is my favorite time of year, I think.  I also REALLY love the dead of summer where it is blazing hot, everything is in bloom, and boating is the most frequent thing on my mind.

Anyways, October.  I love the leaves, the crunchy ones and the bright ones on the trees.  I love the beginning of boot and jacket season.  I love cozy fires, warm houses, and hot tea.  You know what I don't love? The stupid PINK Breast Cancer campaign. 

1. Not because I don't support breast cancer research.
2. Not because I hate Pink.

I hate it for several reasons

1. Why do we assume Pink=women=breast cancer.  Men get breast cancer too.  And lots of women hate feeling labeled by pink.
2. It feels SO inappropriate to me how many "save the tatas" "barbells for boobs" "booze for boobs" etc events there are.  We are not pouring billions into research for BOOBS.  We are researching for LIVES.  The women, the men afflicted by the disease.  Do we as a nation forget that most people with breast cancer LOSE their breasts?  How insensitive is it to be behind propaganda that FOCUSES on the boobs when a large percentage of these patients have LOST theirs. 
3.  The money. Oh the money.  Can we please consider, for a moment, that Donatos is donating only 25 cents each pizza from their pink-ness campaign.  I mean really?  Or that Nike only donates "a percentage" well what the fuck percentage friends?  Why are we willing to pay more for a pink product when so little is actually going to the cause? because it is popular! And who benefits-- BIG COMPANIES -- not women, men, or BOOBS.
4. There are few things I hate more than NFL Pink.  While I know it has raised funds, let's be real.  NFL could not be a more masculine setting and they are wearing pink for the boobs.  How much more Disney Princess -- the prince will rescue me can we get.  It is nauseating.  Not to mention the teams, Nike, Addidas, etc make millions off of making pink versions of their gear.  That money is not spent on research.  It's profit people. 
5.  Consumer philanthropy makes people lazy...they bought that pink spatula so now they don't need to volunteer, they don't need to donate to cancer research.  Well this is just crap.  I mean it's real, but it is also real stupid.  These color campaigns have led to LESS money in the hands of those doing the research because people believe they have already done their share.  Well the fact of the matter is that you didn't do your share...and people's lives actually depend on your assistance for researching better treatments and actual prevention.  

While I get that awareness is good--yes, everyone knows pink=breast cancer, this isn't the awareness we should be wanting.  We want money given to research institutes.  Money given to non-profits that provide cancer screenings, assistance for cancer afflicted families, and more.  This is what is NOT happening.

Lastly, my last rant is this: Why are we so focused on breast cancer when it isn't the most common? When it is NOT nearly the most deadly?  We have made excellent strides in treatment, but still know nothing about other cancers, like my mom's.  I can tell you why-- we are a sex obsessed culture.  Get this, the two most funded cancers? Prostate and Breast. This is no accident.  What is an accident is that all this pink stuff makes people believe breast cancer is their biggest risk of death, or even the most likely type of cancer they will get--but it IS NOT. 

What I beg of you is to 1. read this article by a breast cancer survivor.  and 2. please think twice before supporting every single companies pink campaign--and instead support research and non-profits actually doing the work. 

Social Justice Pump Up

So we (Christopher and I) are training for the Columbus Half Marathon.  Shocking, right? I don't think you could meet someone who hates running more than I do.  But it's going okay actually.  We did 6 miles this Saturday...and I actually did it! I would still rather swim 6 miles than run them, but I did it! Shockingly! And I am slow, like really slow, like I think most people walk faster than I "run", but I don't really care because I'm running.  and for long amounts of times and long amounts of distances.

Anywho.  How do I make it on these long runs you ask? Well I count songs.  Like a mile is 3 songs.  And  my six mile run on Saturday was 17 songs (and 3 pandora commercials and a break from when it wanted to boot me off for inactivity).  Pretty sweet, right?  Now I try to think of other things too so that I don't obsess over the countdown, but still, I count songs.  It gives me a visual when looking at distance/time covered makes me discouraged.

But some songs are like legit pumper-uppers, and other songs are just passing the time songs.  My favorite right now you ask? Same Love- Mackelmore and Mary Lambert!  Seriously an incredible song!

 "The right wing conservatives think it's a decision
And you can be cured with some treatment and religion
Man-made rewiring of a predisposition
Playing God, aw nah here we go
America the brave still fears what we don't know
And God loves all his children, is somehow forgotten
But we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago"

 "When I was at church they taught me something else
If you preach hate at the service those words aren't anointed
That holy water that you soak in has been poisoned
When everyone else is more comfortable remaining voiceless
Rather than fighting for humans that have had their rights stolen
I might not be the same, but that's not important
No freedom till we're equal, damn right I support it"

What incredible lyrics!  I mean seriously, we should be reminded of the fact that there is no FREEDOM for ANY of us until we can ALL experience FREEDOM.  And we as a society LOVE to turn our heads, our eyes, our ears, our hearts away from the reality of the hate that we have today, but it is UNDENIABLE.

Today in the news we see a judge FINALLY making a statement about New York search policy that has been applied mostly to the hispanic and black communitites.  FINALLY.  Our black babies are still DYING TWICE AS MUCH as our white babies (EVEN when we control for things like education level, income level).  What will it take for us to realize that HATE has consequences? That racism is ingrained into our minds and societies? That our freedom means NOTHING when other's cannot experience it?

In the news today we also hear of a STATE FAIR (Missouri) having a rodeo where there is an individual with an Obama mask, and the announcer was enticing the audience saying that the bull would run down Obama, take him down.  While the govenor has thankfully spoken out against this, how do you imagine black individuals in the audience feeling while watching a stunt like this? How do you imagine this display of racism is going to affect little minds that are just learning about the world? Because, let's not be ignorant, and finally recognize that it WILL Affect them.  

Happy New Year--2013!

Never have I been so grateful to leave a year behind me!  I have had a countdown to 2013 since September, and I am so glad to be saying goodbye to 2012 tonight, though I am not saying good-riddens exactly how I had planned.  I have been fighting a silly cold since right after christmas and am not able to visit my mom in the hospital.  My mom and dad will be ringing in the new year together in the hospital, and Zach and I will be ringing it in here at home, that is, if I can stay awake!

2012 has been rough for many reasons; countless health battles for my mother, countless emotional struggles that my family has had to overcome including the death of my my papaw, and simply watching my mom fight so hard every single day.  On top of that I have had long work/school days, my dad has as well making schedules complicated, my sister is likely VERY sick of her car and the drive from MI to IN, and Zach is likely sick of people asking him how he is doing and asking him about his grades.  My boyfriend moved across the country to SC and I miss him all of the time. BUT there have been GREAT things too...

Great 4th of July memories at the boat, great Seabrook memories, an incredible man I have truly fallen in love with, a family that I will forever be grateful for, a brother who is now driving an AWESOME jeep, a mother who has shown me what strength really is, a papaw who left this earth not before showing me what generosity is, a life of endless learning. 

I am really hoping for a 2013 that is full of health, prosperity, generosity in this nation, beauty, happy changes, and man and I living in the same zipcode!!!

My 2012 final thoughts is something that has struck me lately, which is how often people tell my momma to keep fighting, or to stay strong, and while I understand that these words are meant in good faith, they are actually quite inconsiderate.  Well I think they are, I haven't had the courage to ask her what she thinks because I would likely cry.  I think they are inconsiderate simply because it takes her strength to wake up, to move her legs from side to side, to move in her bed, when she has to ASK to get up, to take her 20+ pills twice a day, etc etc etc.  The strength she has is more than any of us have, and she already has that strength...AND that strength has nothing to do with the outcome of her illness.  She is fighting, as are the doctors, as is her family, but the outcome of her illness, her prognosis, if you will, should never be a reflection on her; and words like "keep fighting" or "stay strong" implies that she has the option to not do that for one, and two that the result of not doing that would be failure.  I'm sure people may disagree, but I feel that applauding her strength and incredible tenacity would be much more appropriate, I just don't think we as a culture know these things unless you have experienced it personally.

A Homeless Man, A Reminder

Last week when I was on one of my many bus rides of the week between the hospital and campus, I found myself on a bus with a man who was likely homeless.   When he got onto the bus, people moved away from where he was, and while this man did carry quite a stench with him, I was angry with the people who did this.  So, I started to talk to him.

Though I didn't have enough time to learn his whole life story, I was able to learn that he isn't from Ann Arbor, but found himself here because he thought people (family I think) here would help him.  They have not helped him, however, and he has been living on the streets for too long to keep track of, or so he said.  The man needed help finding 7-11, and since I was walking to my office on State St, I told him to walk with me and that he would be able to find it.  When we said goodbye the amount of gratitude that he expressed was simply unbelievable.  All I had done was offer humanity to this man, I did not judge, I did not fear, and I did not act oblivious to his needs.  I talked to him, I treated him how I would hope others would treat me if I myself were to be homeless.  He was kind, he was gentle, and he was lost.  But why?

In such a political time in our country, we are being bombarded with FALSE information on a daily (if not hourly) basis regarding what each presidential candidate can give us.  One thing that is TRUE, though, is that the Republican agenda would here about this man I tell you of and then stick up its nose, walk away, and whisper that he should help himself.  And if he can't help himself, then find a community resource that can.  In this agenda there is an assumption (well there are lots) that every human being has equal access to a prosperous life.  Well we KNOW this isn't true.  How are we all granted equal access to this is our education is not equal, if our kids are not made aware/taught about how to "help" themselves through education and better jobs?  Well we just aren't.  Our country's institutions are racist on a daily basis, kids from poor families with druggie mommy and daddy's are no longer getting benefits, and it's becoming harder and harder for minority populations to have a chance at making it "big and prosperous" even when they are educated about their choices.  And if you're wanting to argue with the racist comment, tell me why white people get organs more than minorities (even when controlling for any representation distributions).  Or tell me why black babies die 3 times more often in infancy than white babies.  Well you can't explain these things without acknowledging the research that points to institutionalized and experienced racism.

So why do I care?  Well I care for LOTS of reasons.  Being a social worker, I am COMPLETELY committed to fighting for social justice even if it is not the popular ideology.  I also care because this man is utilizing services right now, like shelters, food banks, and counseling, that will be taken away from him if Romney is put into office.  Government program cuts means our most vulnerable clients suffer. 

Yes I am ranting, but it is incredibly important.  So much of the media DOES NOT educate you on the implications of your vote.  Learn. Research. and vote. 

Life's Lessons

Life has taught me many things, but one thing it has taught me over and over again is that it is not fair.  Things in life don't happen for specific reasons, good things happen to good people and bad people and bad things happen to good people and bad people.  Three years ago my madre was diagnosed with small cell neuroendocrine cancer of the cervix.  U of M helped her put up quite the fight and she fought it with valor.  She is 2 1/2 years out and has enjoyed lots of trips to the lake, time with family and countless joy with friends and family.  Unfortunately, however, the treatment to that cancer has brought us back here again, facing Myelodysplastic Syndrome, a bone marrow cancer that requires a bone marrow transplant that will likely take place some time this year.  We are hoping for the best, but she has a rough road ahead of her including chemo, several weeks in the hospital, 100 days requiring round the clock care, limited travel, and increased risk of infection.  We are all struggling with the diagnosis but are committed to having an enjoyable summer before putting on our boxing gloves to beat the crap out of this cancer. 

Our family has taken a beating from the "C" word, and it is really hard for me to put in to words how much my life has been wrecked by its traumatic life course.  Losing my grandma Dixie to cancer in 2008 is still such a sore wound, and to have a mother who has to fight this yet again while my grandfather continues to fight Leukemia seems absolutely cruel.  I can have moments of absolute feelings of devastation and sobs, and other moments of absolute numbness and aloofness.  I know that it is absurd to have a constant pity party, but it also feels absurd that the world expects me to put a smile on my face and carry on as if I don't have a 2 ton weight on my shoulders.  It's hard to balance the what-if's with trying to be positive, it's hard to balance not wanting to miss out on anything with not wanting to be perceived as a debby-downer.  All of it is simply hard. 

At the same time, how many families are BLESSED with the opportunity to be reminded of how much they LOVE one another and how much they are grateful for one another.  I can't help but look at other families and realize how grateful I am for the closeness that the five of us have.  I am beyond grateful for all that my parents have sacrificed for my siblings and I, and I will never be able to thank them enough for the life that they have provided me with.  I love my family so much, and though it breaks my heart to see my mother go through this again, having her fight for her life again, I think we have to find the tiny glimmers of hope in the moments where we are given incredible moments to love one another so selflessly in this time, in ways that many families never get to experience.

If you want to follow my mom's journey, you can find her on carepages.com by creating an account and searching for bethpolen.  We are hoping to inspire lots of people to join the national bone marrow registry at marrow.org...it's an incredibly easy process to donate...saving a life has never been so easy!

Happy Earth Day!

Happy Earth Day!! I thought I would share the pretty cute Google Decorations in celebration of our Earth. 

The more exposure I have to cancers, illnesses, and ailments, I am reminded over and over again of how much we have polluted our beautiful planet.  Our industrialization, greed, and thoughtless actions have led to a sick planet and lots of sick people.  So what do we do now?

Well, we change.  "Be the change you wish to see in the world".  So, stop buying highly processed foods.  For example, pink slime, which is in most ground chuck, fast food meat, etc, is waste meat sterilized with AMMONIA.  Yeah, that's a known carcinogen.  So don't eat it.  Use your consumer power and put your money where your mouth is.

Grow your own food.  Help and support the initiatives of others to grow their own food.  Buy local, organic produce. 

A nutritionist once told me to only eat foods that are either organic or have less than 5 ingredients.  It's hard.  Try it. 

Consider your carbon footprint.  How do you get from a to b?  Who do you take with you? How can you be more environmentally friendly to protect the futures of your children and mine?

#225: The beauty that is spring time.  Blooming flowers, more sunshine, bright skies.

#226: The realization that I have so much to be grateful for.

#227: Being done with my first year of grad school.

#228: ALMOST done with my first semester of students.  Here's to hoping the grade whiners fizzle out. 

#229: Lots of relaxation time with family. 

#230: Two naps in one day.

#231: Getting closer to seeing the man I love.  Three weeks is simply too long.

#232: Clean laundry after six + plus weeks of not doing laundry.

#233: Puppy Cuddles

#234: Yoga

#235: Doing downward dog with Scarlet.  For reals.

#236: Great breakfasts with friends.  Saying goodbye isn't my fortay...but saying good luck is :)

#237: Music to match my mood.  Country music can put words to my feelings and emotions much better than I can.

#238: Baby smiles, baby giggles, baby cuddles, and simply baby time.

#239: Knowing that my words do not suffice in my expressions of love.

#240: Days off to sleep in, cuddle, relax, shop, and eat.

#241: Chocolate.  And LOTS of it.

#242: Bright Spring/Summer clothes!

#243: Bikini Season.  It's so dreaded for lots of (superficial) reasons.  But I am excited.  It means boating season. 

#244: Growth. 

#245: Love. Hugs.

Celebrate Earth Day however you want.  But think critically about how you treat your home.  And how you treat all of our futures. 

Missing in Action

I have been MIA because....

#174: A spring break seeing many faces!  I got to see Alex in Princeton, Merissa in NYC and Amanda in Boston.  It was a CRAZY long week but I am so glad I was able to see so many lovely friends in such a short amount of time :)
#175: A man in my life worthy of my time and my love.
#176: A graduate program that though draining, pushes and forces me to think critically about the world I live in.
#177: Quality time devoted to school work, and getting the most out of my two years in this incredibly insightful program.

#178: An opportunity to pursue my desired internship for next year...AND GETTING IT! (woot woot)
#179: Working with clients in the Livingston and Washtenaw counties.  It is challenging, hard, rewarding, and incredible.
#180: Endless opportunities to be humbled in this world.  Getting a reality check telling me I don't know everything, I am not perfect, and I am not superwoman is always hard and always needed. 
#181: Enjoying everyday life happenings is sometimes hard when I am so busy.  Prioritizing daily activities by musts, needs, and optionals has changed my world!

Here's to hoping your February ended on a positive note, and your March began on a good note!

Body Image

Have you ever thought about why women are so much more likely to develop an eating disorder than men are? What made this to be?

In Women's Health, I ask my students to consider where they learned about being a woman and where they learned about what "good" women look like. Most students report that they learn these things from the media, magazines, Victoria's secret and other fashion stores. If this is true, what do these places teach us?

To be sexy, to congratulate being dangerously thin, to be scantily clad and to present your body as a pleasure island for the men around you.

We congratulate people for losing weight without knowing how they're going about losing the weight. You don't have to be 70 lbs to be anorexic. Yet we never question the healthiness of our means because being thin is so important.

I have skipped meals, skipped weeks of eating and have stood in front of mirrors for hours marking every imperfection. My teenage years are a blur of disappointment. My body was never good enough for me, so seeing that it was good enough for men was my only boost of self confidence.

I tell you this because I am taking a political stand for the bodies of women and for the health of women. It is not about being liberal or conservative, but instead about wanting all women to love the way they look, an celebrate other women for how they look, too.

Use your voice. The personal is political.

Feminism

I am loving teaching...seriously.  And what I am loving the most is seeing the wheels in the minds of so many start to turn; grasping the concepts of feminism and grasping how feminism has, and will continue to, impact their lives.

So few people truly understand what feminism is, and what it represents.  It has a reputation of standing for man-hating, femi-nazi's, and wanting women to rule the world...when in reality feminism represents a fight for equality, for all people based on gender, sex, sexual orientation, race, SES and more.  Feminism represents the voice of so many, and has been the movement that has made voting by females possible, reproductive choice possible, and has allowed women to enter the workforce. 

Some of my students are so tied to the social constructed gender norms for men and women, and watching their walls come down surrounding this is incredibly rewarding.  Men don't have to be the bread winners, and women are not made for nurturing and mothering alone.  We all have gifts, talents, and dreams...and who we are on paper should never stop us from achieving our dreams!

#124: I am proud to be a feminist, and grateful to live in a time and country where saying that does not put me in danger.
#125: Grateful for my role in opening the minds of so many. 
#126: Loving the fact that my students were emailing me about the Roe anniversary this weekend.  Proud moments.
#127: Excited for the day where shame behind feminism, abortion and women's rights disappears.
#128: Male feminists are sexy.  Grateful they exist.
#129: Freedom to be the woman I want to be is huge.  I am always worried about becoming too domesticated or too stereotypically womanly...but in reality I am free to be who I want to be...and if I love children, cooking, cleaning, laundry, working, and playing...well so be it :)
#130: Free Speech

Happy New Year!

Happy 2012 to all of my family and friends!  I had an amazing Christmas break this year and I couldn't be more grateful for those I got to spend time with!!


I was able to spend a couple days in Michigan with my family celebrating my brother's birthday and Christmas, a couple days celebrating Christmas in Ohio, a few days at the Houseboat, and several days celebrating the new year with friends in Columbus.  I couldn't have asked for anything more.  I am excited for what this new year will bring, and I can't wait to share it with you!


Now I'm not a resolution making type of person, but I do have goals for every semester:
1. Work on maintaining balance in my life.  Saying no is not a bad thing.
2. Always be honest about expectations, desires, needs, and wants in professional and personal situations.
3. Enjoy every moment; don't wish away the months, days, hours.  Every breath is a gift.

4. Put my health as a priority.  Headaches need to be controlled! I need time to work out and time to eat. 
5. Do something I've never done before...like a 1/2 marathon in April...or something like that :)

#104: New experiences, new friends and new adventures.
#105: Watching my buckeyes lose in Columbus was sad.  But watching the game around hundreds of other buckeye lovers was amazing. 
#106: Planning for my first teaching semester is nerve wracking but exciting.  Appreciating all of the encouragement.
#107: Nothing better than friends being excited about my life.  I'm excited about my life.  I love my life.  And I couldn't be more grateful for that fact.

Columbus!

#108: Columbus is an awesome city.  Not only because everyone loves the buckeyes there, but also because family life is HUGE there and there are SO many adorable, happy families there.  It's such a blessing to see smiles on the faces of little rascals.

Interesting

I love Ellen.  She is funny, makes me laugh, helps mornings go by, and stands up for some incredibly causes.  On her show the other day was this beauty of a commercial.  The commercial is actually from a new TLC show "Virgin Diaries" that follows couples who have "saved themselves for marriage".  Since I know several couples who have done just that, I find the show both interesting and a train wreck waiting to happen.  While the show sheds light on this ever-shrinking population, it is also making a spectacle of these couples, mocking them in a way.  Watch this video for example...

There were serious outcry's from this commercial in particular, so TLC released a new one that addresses some of the dialogue that the couples engage in where they discuss their reasons for waiting, their excitement, and their "plans" for the wedding night (kinda awkward, honestly). 

Regardless of how I feel about not having sex until marriage, which honestly I can't say my feelings on this are set in stone, I am kinda disturbed by how many people are laughing at this couples' first kiss.  I can only imagine the excitement that led to the kiss, and the embarrassment that they are feeling now...

Is it fair to make fun of these couples who take waiting for sex to heart?  I get mad when religious groups require such practices, so shouldn't I also fight for the rights of these couples to practice their beliefs in privacy?  Then again, they chose to put their lives on TV.  Did they chose the mockery or the exposure? 

So interesting!

#87: Grateful my life is not on camera.  Privacy is a beautiful thing.
#88: Country Christmas Special.  Beautiful, peaceful, and a great reminder of the joy in the season.

Thankful

#3: children told me I was the best part of their day (they are often the best part of mine, too)
#4: Excited for a fun weekend (that you read about in the last post)
#5: Getting to watch CMT's Top 20 while doing my large amounts of homework, as songs like Jake Owen's "Barefoot Blue Jean Night" reminds me so much of our summers on Lake Cumberland.

#6: Teachers who respond to emails as quick (if not quicker than) as I do.  It helps the process of homework and school that much more doable. 

I'm loving this little project.  1000 is a large number, so thinking of getting up to that number is daunting, but I am loving how much it is changing my mindset.  Instead of thinking of how difficult life is, or how tired or worn out I am; I am spending time looking for the good in little instances, the hope in little instances, and the joy.  It's refreshing, healing and helping me see how God is intertwined in my every move during the day.  Relying on His strength is incredibly difficult for my independent-self, but knowing I can depend on him whenever I need to provides a sense of calm.

What are you thankful for?

Honesty

Honesty.  It seems oh so simply, right?  You just tell the truth; you just speak what's on your mind; you simply state the actuality of a situation.  The problem is that as humans, we don't like to hurt people's feelings, we don't like to be judged, we like to be interesting, and we don't want to start fights (and sometimes we do want to do so, unnecessarily). 

bad lighting. but hair is at least shown!

I got my hair done yesterday!  I redid my highlights and got it trimmed.  I love getting my hair done because I get to talk to the hairdresser for 3 hours about whatever I want, or we can sit in silence which can also be incredibly relaxing.  I loved the fact that I could tell her anything; any truth about my life knowing that I didn't care if she judged me because I didn't know her.  It was freeing.  At the same time, part of me wanted to be someone else, someone more interesting and tell her more fascinating stories about myself.  I didn't; I told her truths about my life.  And it was freeing and refreshing.

The other thing about getting your hair done is that people feel the need to comment on it.  A guy at work today said I looked nice today.  Then a couple seconds later asked what was different about me.  Then he squealed after realizing on his own that I had my hair done.  He awkwardly said he loved it and then we went on with our days.

There are lots of things that we aren't honest about, lots of things I'm not completely honest about.  At the end of the day you pick your battles and you make the bed you lie in.  What does your bed look like?