Out of Sight, Out of Mind

Being a graduated senior NOT living in Ann Arbor with all of my friends is proving to be quite bizarre.  Not only am I the one who has to put in the effort to visit with friends (since I'm the one who "left") but even when I DO, people have other plans, are busy or don't have the time to break away from the relationships that are there...the ones that people rely on the most because they are more tangible.

I've been planning on going to AA this weekend for awhile because I'm working in Ypsilanti tonight.  I was going to spend the night both last night and tonight...but now I'm not even sure ANY of my plans will work out.  People are flaky, busy and HATE committing to plans.  I get it, ya know.  Lives move on.  The problem is that I have moved SO many times and know the routine like the back of my hand.  As soon as plans with old friends are unimportant enough to forgo for better opportunities, the friendship is most definitely on the way to dismissal. 

As I keep myself busy with work, work, and more work...I am hopeful for the Fall.  New friends, back in AA at least on a daily basis and ever busy.  I don't want new friendships to replace current ones, but to simply fill in the gaps that moving and graduating have placed on all of those close to me. 

unlikely group...

Something I've realized is that even though you grow closer to people in college than ever before, it is set up to be temporary.  If you want to be long lasting, you have to put in the effort....but it must be reciprocated to be worthwhile.  At what point should work stop being more important than friends? At what point should "reflection time" or personal time be more or less important than friendships?

Birthday Fizzle

I have a sister.  Her name is Brittany and it is her birthday.  June 22...the second official day of summer!  This past weekend we celebrated her birthday while on the houseboatizzle. (in the izzle mood).  Though we celebrated with gifts we were forbidden to celebrate with decorations, a party, or cake/ice cream.  Why you may ask?  My hermana is hung up on birthdays.  Not *just* about the age...peeps she's only 25...but mostly about the expectations she has yet to live up to; the milestones she thought she would have reached by now but hasn't.

I don't get it.  I don't really have expectations for myself..and even when I do I don't really think about it.  Yeah I wanna save money, I wanna get good grades, find a great job, find a great husband, etc etc.  But there isn't a due date on these things and if I fail...well the sun still comes up tomorrow.

Is this a birth order thing? Or maybe just a personality thing.  All I know is I wish only HAPPINESS for my beautiful sister.  I love her lots...and look up to her in so many ways!

Happy Birthday Brittany! 

Stormzzz

I like rain; occasionally.  I like storms; occasionally. 

This past weekend we went to the houseboat to celebrate Father's Day.  We invited my grandpa (dad's dad) and his girlfriend...whom my mom, sister and I had yet to meet.  It was a pretty uneventful weekend...which is pretty unusual for the Lake.

It rained THE ENTIRE time we were there (minus probs 6 hours tops, of which some was when we arrived and left thankfully, oh and we tubed some!).  Not only did we experience a monsoon there, but it seems to have followed us.  This is what today has been like...

Not exactly perfect summer weather...

Delicious?

I look at yahoo.com several times a day.  Yes, I have often been told that I am the reason yahoo.com has not gone under.  In reality, yahoo gives a great snapshot of world happenings and useless yet entertaining news as well (best places to live while young and single, great careers, etc etc).  Today, however provided some oh so interesting yet absolutely repulsive and useless news...

Or you can go HERE to watch the video on yahoo's page. 

Want some ice cream?

Allergies Suck

Not only have I been graciously blessed with a wide variety of food allergies..but I have LONG suffered from seasonal and year round allergies.  In fact, when I re-did my allergy testing last fall, (scratch test) I was allergic to EVERY SINGLE THING they tested me for.  Things like ragweed, mold, flowers, grass, trees, dust and dustmites, dogs, cats, etc etc etc.  You may realize, of course, that it is impossible to avoid all of these things.

This spring/summer has been an exceptionally rough allergy season.  So much rain and such drastic heat and cold has lead up to crazy high pollen levels and unfortunate allergy attacks.  I've also been hanging out with Scarlett lots, and I've been working in a house that has two cats.  Basically, I'm dying.

Every day it seems like I'm taking sudaffed and benadryl.  I wake up in the night with a runny nose or a stuffy nose or both. It's annoying.

All in all...I may LOVE summer but I really look forward to the allergy relief that winter brings.  I want allergy shots.

This is what the scratch test looks like...but i was allergic to EVERYTHING.

Flab

After a great day in Ann Arbor yesterday at the pool, I spent some quality time sitting on the front porch drinking wine and chit chatting about everything important.  We started onto a conversation about BMI, weight/height ratio of men and women, and how the BMI scale is greatly flawed. 

Men are believed to have a lower fat ratio and a higher muscle mass than women at the same height; causing them to weigh slightly more.  This is a blanket statement, meaning it is not true in every case.  Some men have low muscle mass and low fat content.  Some females have greater muscle mass than typical.. making them heavier but not unhealthier. 

The BMI scale is not completely comprehensive; it factors only weight and height but ignores age, gender and build.  Because of this it REALLY tends to be inaccurate.  Worse than that, the chart ignores obese short people and underweight tall people. 

In reality, most of this country could afford to lose a bit of weight.  But with healthy eating and exercise, I don't think the added pressure of having to fit into the perfect range is super helpful.  I know I have some flab that really doesn't act like an asset for me.  We can't all be supermodels :)

Words I Hate

If you've ever had a conversation with me, you know that I can fall into swearing like a sailor.  You might also know that though I will spit out my share of hells, damns, shits, and the occasional f**ks; there are some words that I refuse to use.  I realize that swearing can misrepresent me, what I stand for, and I'm sure it makes me look uneducated at times.  What I also know is that I have self control; my language is my choice and I decide the words that come from my mouth, and the consequences they have.

Having a teenage brother can prove to be oh so insightful at times...for instance, I am realizing more and more that guys enjoy emasculating themselves and each other in order to compensate for how they feel about themselves and each other.  It is incredibly messed up and makes no sense; their words are hurtful and Psychology textbooks will undoubtedly agree with me when I say that it can have lasting effects.  Sending a message that you can only be a man if you do X, Y or Z is limiting and demeaning.

Worse than that even is this stupid trend in people using the word rape to refer to anything other than a sexual assault; forced sexual interactions.  While I have heard it used mostly by boys, I'm sure there are a few girls out there who say it as well.  But stop for a second and think about your words: "that test raped me" or "taxes so high they rape you" etc etc (BTW I feel nauseous typing those phrases).  Do you REALLY think a test or taxes can compare to the turmoil, hurt, pain, and devastation that a sexual assault causes?  Well they can't.  I promise.  1 in 3 women will experience a sexual assault.  1 in 9 female minors have been sexually assaulted.  When you or your friend, brother, father, uncle uses this language...I guarantee you that they will say it in the presence of one of these women or girls at some point.  As someone who understands, it will NOT go unnoticed and it will NOT be said without these girls and women being reminded of the pain they suffered through because a man (or woman) took the word and action of "rape" lightly.

What about the r-word; retarded.  There is quite the campaign going on to get this word banned from everyday speech and I couldn't be more excited about it.  I am super passionate in general, and give me a cause to support that backs the social, emotional and overall well-being of a specifically targeted population...and I'll back it. 

There are lots of words I hate.  I could go on forever...but I've learned that it's best to put my efforts into a few arenas at a time.